god, among other things

So yesterday I worked a 12 hour shift. It was a crazy night, and I came home beat up! I was so happy to get into my bed under my favorite blanket. Guess what! Can't sleep. WTF. I was so frustrated. I have things to on Friday, it's my day off, it's going to be sunny! I finally drifted off around 2am. My husband get's up at 5:30 ish to go to work, I was up again. My plan was to be up at 8am, I woke up at 8:15 and only because my leg cramped up. I refuse to be pissy about it tho.

So why would I be up so freakin' early on my day off after a 12 you ask?
I was going to go to mass, that's right folks, mass.
I have begun to go to therapy again, since all of my anxiety has reared his ugly head. My therapist suggested that going to church would be a good idea, and I wholeheartedly agree with him.
The moment I knew I was pregnant, one of my first thoughts was "I should start going to church again".
For those of you that don't know, I was baptized catholic, even went to catholic school for the first three years of grade school. A priest said some choice things during a surmon and my mom said, we are out of here. So began my love and confused realtionship with organized religion. I feel spiritual, and I believe everyone has a different relationship with god. As I have said being pregnant puts a whole new perspective on things, on top of being anxious.
Not growing up in Covington, I wasn't sure about a catholic church around. My work wife Stephanie told me about her church, St. John's. So I googled it, found out the mass schedule and said ok, Friday it is.
So as I am hopping around on one leg this morning, I get dressed and go out the door to church. I get there and there are hardly any cars in the parking lot. So I chicken out. I haven't showered so I feel gross, and I don't want to be in a small mass where everyone is going "who's the new girl". So I am going to wait for a Sunday so I can blend in and hopefully my husband will go with me.
I went to Starbucks instead....
I will go, I am totally committed, I am also a chicken shit. I do think it's important, and I want Austin to be baptized.
So, it's on to chores and enjoy this beautiful day with my furry babies.
On the note of furry babies, we got a glider with ottoman last weekend (thanks to my wonderful mother and sister) and Habenero thinks it's his chair. Gotta love it.

On the best note, today is my 6 month wedding anniversary, it's sunny out and we are going to the M's game tonight. I am so excited, my first one this season!!!

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

faith

I am normally not a person who is a positive thinker, I am a glass is half empty kinda gal. In the last month or so of my pregnancy I have realized how important it is to be positive. I figure it can't be good for me or my son to be negative all the time. I have experience extreme anxiety that I have never felt before in my life. So much so that I went back to my therapist. So I have decided that I need to be more positive and most importantly have faith. I feel like an alcoholic because I literally have to take it day by day, hour by hour. It is a conscious decision, and I am so not good at make a conscious decision and sticking with it. When it's not just about you anymore, it does make it easier. I am at the point of printing several signs that say faith and posting them at the house and work. Maybe I should tattoo it on myself....

Yesterday I fell off the wagon a little bit...My husband and I are having financial issues (who isn't) and I broke down yesterday and cried. I tried to do it in the bath so I wouldn't stress my husband more than he is, but alas we were talking and that's what did it for me. Thank god he's good at talking me off of a ledge, so to speak. I would not know what to do without my husband. He is been so good, and so patient with me, and believe me patience is not his strong suit.

So anyway, I am going out in the world today, hanging out with my BFF, and later my mom and my sister, and I am going to have faith a lot of it. Hopefully with no tears shed, although my hormones might have a different idea!!!

where to begin

So I have had the title to this blog for months now. I just don't know how to begin to begin. I feel like if I could just start then the rest will come to me.
So I am just going to start.....

My name is Nichole and I am 20 weeks pregnant (sounds like I am going to an AA meeting).
I have a wonderful husband (Dan), and together we have four furry babies: Jalepeno (golden lab mix),Emmy(mutt),Ruby(kitten#1), and Habenero (kitten#2). We are expecting our first human baby on Sept. 23rd and we are naming him Austin. I bet you all thought he would be named as a pepper too, I was worried about that myself for awhile.

Anyway we are blessed in this house, and very much looking forward to meeting our son.

So begins the exciting world of me, I am willing to believe you are all on the edge of your seats!!!