finally the birth story

Austin is two months old and I am finally able to post the story.
9/3/09 it began. I woke up at 4:30 am, feeling a lot of pain. I woke Dan up, but we decided that I could hold off. So I took a shower, and went back to sleep. I slept almost the entire day, waking only to eat and go potty. Dan comes home and we go to home depot for some boards to put under the bed. (don't ask, that's another post). So we are waiting for the guy to cut the boards and I am not feeling well at all. Leaning over the cart ect.
We get home and I decide to call the consulting nurse. She of course tells me to head to the hospital. Dan loads up the car with everything. I tell him he is jinxing us because they are going to send us home like they do every time. He just smiled at me an quietly kept loading the car.
We get to Valley, and at this point I am in a lot of pain. The contractions aren't the type that come and go, just a constant pain, cramping. We get to the desk, and there are no nurses available. Every other time I went to triage there were at least two!! Finally a nurse comes and gets me to a room. She directs me to the bathroom to change and do what I have to do. Dan goes with me because I can't stand up straight. He has my purse and is looking for somewhere to put it down, and he figures the sink is the best option. Well it's one of those sinks that turns on automatically, so it drenches my purse. Even tho I think I am going to pass out from the pain, I laugh so hard I almost peed my pants!
So I get hooked up to the monitors, and the nurse calls the Dr. to come in an make an assessment. So we wait for him to get there, and I am uncomfortable as heck.
He comes in and he says. We are going to deliver the baby. Austin is breech so I know that means C-Section. So Dan says, how long till we go to the delivery room. The Dr. says "about a half hour". At this point I am like holy sh**. We haven't called anyone to tell them we are even AT the hospital.
Dan goes racing to the waiting room to call the people on our list. Noelle is the only one to make it before I get wheeled off, this is because she lives like a mile from the hospital.
They give Dan the scrubs to put on and wheel me into the OR. At this point I am crying, mostly because I am terrified of the epidural. I beg and plead for the anesthesiologist to let my husband in because I do not want to do the epi alone. I calmed myself down because I figured the epi would hurt more if I was crying so hard. Turns out the epi wasn't even close to as bad as I thought it was going to be.
Let me tell you it's a weird feeling not being able to feel anything from the waist down. A couple of minutes after getting the epi, I start puking my guts out. To tell you the truth this is the worst part of the experience. I had to turn my head to the side and puke in the tray. The anesthesiologist was great and gave me some anti nausea meds right away.

And so it begins.
They let me know they are going to start, and the next thing I know I am feeling a TON of pressure. Not pain but a TON of pressure. His head was wedged up in my rib cage on the right side. Dan actually looked over the curtain and saw him get pulled out. I was so proud of him because he gets grossed out so easily. So then I see my beautiful son over the curtain and I cry. He is 7lbs 8.5 oz, 18 inches long.

Then they tell me he is not breathing well. He was breathing too shallow. Apparently when babies come down the birth canal a lot of stuff gets pushed out. Anyway they have to take him to the NICU for observation, and Dan has to go with him. Dan could see me from the window so he kept going back and forth. He said later that all of a sudden I wasn't there anymore.

So I get wheeled to my room and my mom, dad, Dan's parents, Noelle and Aud were all waiting for me. I felt out of it, but so so excited. They put these things on my legs to help prevent clotting. It's like a blood pressure cuff for your legs that go off every two minutes. Pain in the ass.
After about an hour I asked the nurse, where my husband and baby were. Just about that time my boys came strolling in. Apparently they were about to admit him to the NICU, when they decided to put the goop in his eyes and he started screaming at the top of his lungs. All was well.

It was an amazing experience. The staff was fantastic. I was in the hospital for two nights, three days.

The last two months have been wonderful, and hard all at the same time. I am so lucky to have a beautiful healthy gorgeous boy. He has the red hair I was hoping for!! He now weighs 12lbs 3 oz.

frustration

I know that I have blogged Austin's birth story yet, and I will. I just have something else to get off of my chest.
Work.
So as you know I went on bed rest on 7/16. I had Austin on 9/3. I let HR know the situation and it turns I out I am a whopping 56 hours short so I am NOT eligable for FMLA. My HR response was if I thought that I wouldn't be eligable I should have made other arrangements.
HOW IN THE HELL WOULD I HAVE EVER THOUGHT I WOULDN"T BE ELIGABLE. Are you kidding me?????????????????????????
If I had known that it was 56 hours, I would have figured out how to plant my fat ass at work somehow. If I was eligable I would be able to stay home for up to 16 weeks after my 8 weeks of maternity disability.
On top of that the HR rep has been oh so great. She was great up until I clarified some things. She then said "perhaps I got confused when I went on bed rest".
I feel like I am being punished for doing the right thing and making sure my child came into this world healthy.
I am in tears because I am so frustrated.
So now I have to go back to work on 10/29. Which I realize is still more than a month away but I am so sad. I mean we can really afford for me to be off that much longer anyway, but this really fucking sucks. I did everything I was supposed to, dr notes, was proactive, everything. I am so not a proactive person to begin with.
So now I am trying to focus on the positives, although every day that goes by I don't see much that is positive.
I do thank god that my son is healthy and growing. He is beautiful and I love him so much.
I am lucky to have a great husband, and parents, and in laws. I am lucky to have a job.
So I am trying not to have a pity party, but man this is soooooooooo hard.

36 weeks

Well folks I have made it to 36 weeks. I go to the Dr. this afternoon, I will be going off of my anti contraction meds. I have been contracting the whole time, so now it's about how intense it's going to be. I made another trip to the L&D on Sunday evening. I was having pain that I hadn't had before and lower than before. It was the first time that I really thought they might take him. I say take him because he is still breach.

I am up at the crack of dawn today, usually I wake up with my husband and I am able to go back to sleep. Today, not so much. I have a headache this morning, which I had last night. I also have a ton on my mind. I have decided not to fight it, I can always take a nap later. My list of things to do is growing by leaps and bounds.

Sen. Kennedy died last night, sad to me. I hope the democrats continue to stay strong, lord knows we need it. What a year already for people passing. Weird to think that my son will be born in the same year that all of these influential people passed.

My sister came in yesterday, she is here for a week. It's always good to see her, we miss her here. I do envy her sometimes, single, independent, living in another city. It is kinda sad to me that she won't be here when Austin is growing up, that being said, I am very sure she will be his favorite auntie :)

I will post more after my Dr. appointment. Until then, here's to crossing things off of my list!!!

weekly update

Had my weekly appointment with my OB. I have been contracting since Sunday, even with my pills. So I go in, get strapped down. She gave me the option of going to the hospital or going home and waiting it out. So I chose to go home. I hate my reaction to the shot they give me.

After next week I will be off of the pills, the Dr. said that she suspects my contractions will continue to get stronger.

Austin is still breach, which I knew because his head is wedged in my right side. So she is going to monitor that for the next few weeks to see if he will turn. If he doesn't turn, automatic C-Section. So today she said that she is going to schedule the C-Section for 39 weeks, so the OR is available,ect ect.

Information overload today. I have been feeling overwhelmed and anxious all week and this certainly help. The good news is Dan and I will have a plan B, which is good.
We do have excercises to help the baby turn, so we shall see. I don't know if I think he will, he seems to like his home wedged into my right side :)

Until next Wednesday.....

I just have to put my 2 cents out there

So I have been watching (minimally) all the rage, and I mean literal rage, over health care reform. Since I haven't been paying close attention, as I don't want to get too rilled up, I maybe misinformed on a few things. HOWEVER, I don't understand the rage.
Why is it that I should be mad about everyone in this country having health care. It seems very logical to me. Do they plant lobbyists and insurance company reps at these town hall meetings, because it seems to me they are the one's who are going to be pissed. We already pay out the a** for insurance because people go to the ER who don't have insurance and then they can't pay the bills so they hospital writes them off. Who do you think foots the bill for that, you and I. It's going to cost us all of our appendages, and why? Because we couldn't get off our a** 20 YEARS AGO and do something about it.

To me, health care should be something that you get the moment you are born. When my baby is born I am going to have to add him to mine, and pay for him. Which is fine because I am one of the lucky one's who has a job that pays for my insurance. It's not the greatest insurance but something is better than nothing. It is easy to sit in a cocoon and say I have it so I shouldn't have to worry about other people having it. Well someday I just might not have it, and then what??

Working in medicine has enlightened me in some ways. I am no longer naive about how it works. It is not about taking care of people, it's making sure that you make money off of every patient that walks through that door. Why is that? Because somehow insurance companies, and drug companies got all of the power. Take the f*in power away.

So the government will run it, which yes is scary, but to me so are the alternatives. For those who say it will be like Canada and you can't get an MRI for ten years, so you either die from that cancer, or you go to the states to get treated. I say don't you think we see what goes on elsewhere and maybe, just maybe, we will learn from this??? Have a little faith. I can see why we don't have faith in our government, but look who ran the government for the last 8 years? There is a new sheriff in town, and I have faith in him.

So I say stop the rage, get to work and figure it out. For our children's sake, so they don't have to have this particular argument. Believe me I am sure there will be a lot of different arguments for them ahead.

Ok, I just fell off of my soapbox :)

just a routine visit

So I went to the Dr. today for my weekly visit. She asked me if I felt like I was contracting, and I said I wasn't sure. She decided to put me on the monitor to check, and sure enough I was contracting pretty frequently. She then checked my cervix which has thinned but not dilated. So then she told me to get to the hospital now. So my mother in law (who took me to the appt at 7:30 am, bless her) drove me to Valley. Meanwhile I am talking to my husband to let him know what was going on. So we get to the hospital and I get hooked up, get the super fun shot that makes me shake uncontrollably and gives me a wicked headache, and the contractions stopped.

Dr. Glover said that I need to hold on 2 more weeks, and to quote "it won't be a disaster if the baby comes". So we just need to hang on two more weeks. I really don't believe I will go early. There are plenty of women out there that contract, only to see their due date come and go. My husband is convinced, along with my work wife, that I will go early. My sister called me and she said it would be ok with her to have him around the 22nd of this month, since she will be here on the 25th for a week long visit. We shall see, he was breach at last ultrasound, he needs to turn in the right direction.

Otherwise we are all good on the home front. Our birthing classes are this weekend, I am excited to learn more. Mama Stortini's moved to Kent Station, so I might get a date after our class on Saturday:)

I am feeling much more positive, and I am confident that the baby is ok, so whatever happens from here will be alright.

random thoughts

I am awake at 8:17 on a Saturday, I didn't go to sleep until after 2am. This entire week I was not out of bed until after 11am. What the hell.

Sara Palin is irrelevant. She needs to go home, bake some cookies, raise her 50 kids, who I am sure are insured, and shut the F up.

I go on my boards at thebump, and I read about all the phases that babies are going through, and the trouble with breast feeding ect. So now of course I am petrified that the breast feeding won't work. I really really want it to work.

I lay on my side to sleep, because I can't lay on back as I lose my breath and you aren't really supposed to, for obvious reasons I don't sleep on my stomach. So every 1.5 hours the muscle below my hip hurts like hell from all the weight so I have to turn over. I have to wake up fully to do so because I can't flip like I used to. I am determined to be a lot skinnier with the next baby.

I sound like a whiny baby in all of my posts lately. Unfortunately this is my therapy right now, and I am pretty sure not a lot of people are reading this crap anyway :)

On a good note, we are going to my mom's for dinner tomorrow for a dinner I grew up with and have been craving like mad. I am excited, and I am excited just to hang out with my 'rents. I would be lost without my mother.

Have a great weekend, even if we have to wear our sweaters, which I am not so secretly excited about.

bed rest week whatever the hell week it is

So I went to the Dr. on Wednesday. I was thinking that she was going to send me back to work since I have contracted since being on two pills a day. I was nervous about it, but at the same time we need the money. Never mind that moving more than 15 minutes at a time causes great discomfort and the baby is getting lower and lower. Anyway, she measured me, listened to his heart, and we spoke a little. Then I said "am I going to be going back to work", and without any hesitation on her part my Dr. said "no". She said "we will be taking it week by week, but most likely you will not being going back until after the baby arrives". Wow. I am glad in some ways, but terrified in others. Mostly terrified because how in the hell are we going to afford this????????? There's not a lot I can do about it, as the most important thing is to keep Austin and I healthy. So initially I was secretly glad that about that decision.
Jump to two days later and I am a mess. I am bored, nothing interests me but watching TV and then I get annoyed because there's only so much I can watch. I don't want to read, which is so super weird for me. I only shower every other day (TMI). My poor husband, I cling to him like no body's business when he gets home and he needs to decompress too. Plus I look really hot to him with my stained shirt and my hair that looks like the scene in "There's something about Mary".
I also have a huge confession. In Oct. I got a speeding ticket, and I contested it, and they said to damn bad. So it's like a $400 ticket. So I made payment arrangements and I made payments. Well then I started losing what mind I had left and I forgot to pay a couple months. Now all of a sudden I am sent to collections, AND I am being threatened to have my license suspended. So I have to make calls and figure it all out. #1, there's nothing I hate more than making phone calls. I need a personal assistant that will work for free to do this for me. My husband hates calling too so that's no help.
#2, now I have to pay twice as much on month than I was before, and all on one income. One more burden for my husband to bear, because of me. I am a lucky girl that he puts up with me.

So here's hoping that I won't go stark raving mad in the next 7 weeks. That's right I STILL HAVE 7 WEEKS TO GO.

I am also having major anxiety about what the hell am I gonna do with a baby! I am grateful that next weekend is our birthing classes, I am hoping this will help a great deal.

Ok so after reading this, please no body call to commit me.
Thanks

The end

bed rest update

Let me start out by saying what everyone is talking about. It is too f***** hot here. I cannot handle it. I am so grateful to my in law's who have AC, otherwise I may not be here right now.

Secondly, I went to the Dr. yesterday. He said "have we met before"? I was irritated. I mean I know my Dr. is out of town and this poor man is seeing a TON of pregnant women right now. I just feel like with everything that I have had going on, someone ought to remember me. Last time I was in his office, I was there for hours being monitored. Anyway, he said everything looks good. I am still measuring two weeks ahead, which I found out means I have more amniotic fluid that normal, but not too much to be concerned. I am still on bed rest, I see my Dr. next Wednesday.

I am really hoping the temps calm down very soon, I am having a hard time handling this even with my in laws and the AC. I also feel for my husband who works in a warehouse with no AC. They do have a rule that if it hits 90 or above his workplace give them Popsicles. He has actually gone to the store and bought Popsicles for his work peeps too. Cause that's the kinda guys he is. I was craving ho ho's and corn nuts last night, and he obliged me. Hard to believe I have only gained 5 pounds through this pregnancy.

Hope everyone is staying as cool and safe as possible.

baby shower, pre term labor, and the heat wave from hell

Where do I begin?
Let's start with Saturday, my mom chipped in(with prompting from my sister because mom's hip isn't so great) to hire someone to come in and clean the house. My husband has been burning the candle at both ends and I didn't want to add more to his plate.
Becki came on Saturday and did a great job, I was most excited about my bathroom being clean and sparkly. The reason for the deep clean is that my baby shower was Sunday.

Sunday was the baby shower and it was fantastic, and so much fun. Before the shower mom and I got pedicures, as I can't reach my feet :)
Noelle, Kristy, and Shannon threw the shower for me. They did a great job, it was perfect. I was also excited to see my girlfriends, some of whom I haven't seen in awhile. Austin was spoiled rotten, we received some fantastic things for him. Dan went through all of the gifts, he loved them all too. Everyone admired the great job he has done on the nursery. I really need to post some pictures.


Anywhoo I woke up today with the familiar cramping, took my med thinking it would stop. I took a shower, and was about to call my in laws as they have AC at their house. I laid down after the shower because I was still in pain, and fell back asleep. I woke up again at 11:30 and I was still in pain so I called my Dr.'s office. I spoke to the nurse and after a series of questions I was told to go to the hospital because there wasn't a Dr available in office today.
I called my in law's, they weren't home but my sister in law was, and she and my niece rescued me.
Got in the room, and they had to do lady things that I won't go into, did another ultrasound, drew blood, did an IV, and hooked me up to the monitor. I was contracting of course, so then I had the fun shot that makes me shake even though I am not cold.
Dan was able to get off a little early and come down to relieve my sis in law and niece.

So now I have to take my contraction meds twice a day, and it looks like I have a UTI so I get to take antibiotics too.
I go back to the Dr. tomorrow and we will go from there. I am guessing that I am not going back to work anytime soon.
Anyone have anything I can do for them while lying down???

bed rest the next chapter

So I went back to the OB yesterday, and I am still contracting. I thought as much, but I was also hoping it was all in my head, and that it was just third trimester stuff. Alas no, I was contracting. Austin is doing well, moving like a champ, his heartbeat is great. So I am on modified bed rest for another week. I am already going out of my head. Thank goodness for my mom who spent the almost the whole day taking care of me. I am really lucky. I have a good role model for years to come.

On a couple of good notes, I got my new glasses yesterday. I am so excited, I can see out of these. My old glasses were almost as bad as my eyesight without contacts or glasses. I have to wear glasses for three months straight because I have something weird going on with my left eye. I wanted to get them anyway, can't imagine fiddling with contacts and trying to take care of a newborn. Without glasses or contacts I am blind as a bat.

Secondly my baby shower is this weekend! I am very excited to see my girlfriends, a few I haven't seen in awhile. My husband has been great, he has started cleaning the house, which looks like a bomb went off.

I will keep everyone posted, as I am sure you are glued to my blog for the next chapter! :)

well that was fun

As I have said before, I have had some increased anxiety throughout this pregnancy. It has calmed down, but still there.
Last night I had dinner about 4, so I could eat with my husband before I went to work. After I went to work, I felt Austin kick as usual, and then I took a nap before work. Went to work, came home ect. I hadn't felt him move since 4ish, and he usually is a big mover. So I got all worried, tried laying on my side,ect nothing worked. I finally fell asleep, but woke up when Dan went to work. I decided to call the nurse, who told me I should come in.
So about 6am this morning, I went to Valley. The OB has a triage ect, so I was hooked up to a monitor, and I heard his heartbeat loud and clear. Sweet relief. So I laid there for a bit, and then they told me I was contracting and they wanted to monitor that. So I laid on my side and drank ice water for a half hour. Then they laid me on my back because Austin was moving and they had to make sure to continually listen to him ect. So the Dr. comes back in, and says they are going to give me a shot to calm my uterus down. Oh by the way, this will make your heart beat fast. OK great, thanks. I was also super nauseous. So I laid there for awhile, watching TV. Thankfully I could text Dan the whole time. Half hour later they told me contractions stopped (hallelujah) and I could go home, and rest for the day. So I came home and passed out for about three hours. Just had some lunch, he moved, although still not as much as I am used too. I suppose that's because he's getting bigger, and running out of room. I now have to count fetal movements.

I so didn't want to be the over dramatic pregnant woman, I was determined not to go to the hospital until it was time for him to come. I am mad at myself for being dramatic, but I also feel like I needed to follow my gut as it were.

I wish I was rich, I would lay in bed with one of those monitors on me at all times. Chances are I would probably freak out anyway, cause that's how I roll. I will be so grateful when he comes (and not until he's fully cooked), but I suppose that comes with a whole new can of worms. At least when he is here I can keep my hand on his chest at all times.

For now, I am going back to bed, and probably cuddle with one of my furry babies, if not all of them:)

blue

I have been feeling blue the last couple of days. Can never seem to get ahead with the finances, of course if either of us had an education past HS we might be doing better. There are 3 LPN's at work that just got into RN school and I am so happy for all of them, and a little bit jealous. The only thing standing in my way is me, but that's another story. Now being pregnant it's not like I can get up and got to school at this point anyway. Besides that my patience is at an all time low. I hate going into work, mostly because I am so tired of people who are so rude, whiney, and stupid. I dread going in, even tho my hours have been cut, which has been so great. I love the people I work with, just not the people who walk in the door. I hope this goes away after pregnancy or I am screwed. I should be thanking god that I even have a job and roof over my head.
I don't know, just feeling overwhelmed with how much is going on and what is expected of me.
My poor husband isn't his usual jovial self either, which doesn't help. We can't both be grumpy at the same time, but we are, and it's fun times here.
We are trying to sell the fridge that we never use, I went to the garage to give it a clean up, thinking it would be no big deal. Well it was and it's gross and I have to haul all the parts upstairs to clean in the sink. I just started crying. I don't think I can handle one more demand, or one more person being rude, or anything for that matter.
I can always tell when the hormones are taking a spike, I think this is one of those times, don't you ?

On a good note, a couple of weeks ago, Dan felt Austin kick for the first time. I was so happy. He said "it feels weird", yeah try feeling it from the inside!! I love feeling my son move, it makes me smile everytime. I think I might miss that part of being pregnant, no other parts tho I can tell you that!

god, among other things

So yesterday I worked a 12 hour shift. It was a crazy night, and I came home beat up! I was so happy to get into my bed under my favorite blanket. Guess what! Can't sleep. WTF. I was so frustrated. I have things to on Friday, it's my day off, it's going to be sunny! I finally drifted off around 2am. My husband get's up at 5:30 ish to go to work, I was up again. My plan was to be up at 8am, I woke up at 8:15 and only because my leg cramped up. I refuse to be pissy about it tho.

So why would I be up so freakin' early on my day off after a 12 you ask?
I was going to go to mass, that's right folks, mass.
I have begun to go to therapy again, since all of my anxiety has reared his ugly head. My therapist suggested that going to church would be a good idea, and I wholeheartedly agree with him.
The moment I knew I was pregnant, one of my first thoughts was "I should start going to church again".
For those of you that don't know, I was baptized catholic, even went to catholic school for the first three years of grade school. A priest said some choice things during a surmon and my mom said, we are out of here. So began my love and confused realtionship with organized religion. I feel spiritual, and I believe everyone has a different relationship with god. As I have said being pregnant puts a whole new perspective on things, on top of being anxious.
Not growing up in Covington, I wasn't sure about a catholic church around. My work wife Stephanie told me about her church, St. John's. So I googled it, found out the mass schedule and said ok, Friday it is.
So as I am hopping around on one leg this morning, I get dressed and go out the door to church. I get there and there are hardly any cars in the parking lot. So I chicken out. I haven't showered so I feel gross, and I don't want to be in a small mass where everyone is going "who's the new girl". So I am going to wait for a Sunday so I can blend in and hopefully my husband will go with me.
I went to Starbucks instead....
I will go, I am totally committed, I am also a chicken shit. I do think it's important, and I want Austin to be baptized.
So, it's on to chores and enjoy this beautiful day with my furry babies.
On the note of furry babies, we got a glider with ottoman last weekend (thanks to my wonderful mother and sister) and Habenero thinks it's his chair. Gotta love it.

On the best note, today is my 6 month wedding anniversary, it's sunny out and we are going to the M's game tonight. I am so excited, my first one this season!!!

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

faith

I am normally not a person who is a positive thinker, I am a glass is half empty kinda gal. In the last month or so of my pregnancy I have realized how important it is to be positive. I figure it can't be good for me or my son to be negative all the time. I have experience extreme anxiety that I have never felt before in my life. So much so that I went back to my therapist. So I have decided that I need to be more positive and most importantly have faith. I feel like an alcoholic because I literally have to take it day by day, hour by hour. It is a conscious decision, and I am so not good at make a conscious decision and sticking with it. When it's not just about you anymore, it does make it easier. I am at the point of printing several signs that say faith and posting them at the house and work. Maybe I should tattoo it on myself....

Yesterday I fell off the wagon a little bit...My husband and I are having financial issues (who isn't) and I broke down yesterday and cried. I tried to do it in the bath so I wouldn't stress my husband more than he is, but alas we were talking and that's what did it for me. Thank god he's good at talking me off of a ledge, so to speak. I would not know what to do without my husband. He is been so good, and so patient with me, and believe me patience is not his strong suit.

So anyway, I am going out in the world today, hanging out with my BFF, and later my mom and my sister, and I am going to have faith a lot of it. Hopefully with no tears shed, although my hormones might have a different idea!!!

where to begin

So I have had the title to this blog for months now. I just don't know how to begin to begin. I feel like if I could just start then the rest will come to me.
So I am just going to start.....

My name is Nichole and I am 20 weeks pregnant (sounds like I am going to an AA meeting).
I have a wonderful husband (Dan), and together we have four furry babies: Jalepeno (golden lab mix),Emmy(mutt),Ruby(kitten#1), and Habenero (kitten#2). We are expecting our first human baby on Sept. 23rd and we are naming him Austin. I bet you all thought he would be named as a pepper too, I was worried about that myself for awhile.

Anyway we are blessed in this house, and very much looking forward to meeting our son.

So begins the exciting world of me, I am willing to believe you are all on the edge of your seats!!!